We sit in silence and I sip my tea.
Her coffee is black.
As she uncaps her pen, I press at pastry flakes on my plate with sticky fingers. The background clatter masks our hushed voices.
She’s looking at lists, scribbled dos and don’ts. I’m remembering how it felt when her hand filled me slowly with, first, a finger, then her largest toys: my cries and her joy. And how tenderly she stroked my hair after, as I lay in her lap, aching and violated.
“This time do you want to be watched?”
“No – no one else there – just you and me”
“Fine. No one will watch”
She picks up the pen and scratches out another condition from the list of wishes and hard stops. I put down my cup in the flat well of the saucer. The tea’s cold and stewed tannins have furred up my tongue.
“Just fingers and a plug”
“Okay, I’ll go with a probe”
A pause, while waitstaff take an age to bus and wipe a neighbouring booth. She’s reviewing her notes, flicking back through pages. Her drink remains untouched.
As I watch her I think of those weighted links that hung so hard from my nipples, which she delighted in pulling. Harder and harder as I begged her to stop, her own breasts full with arousal, swaying with the weight of desire as she yanked at my chain.
“What about choking? Did we agree hands only, no belts?”
I nod. She nods. No need for correction. I lick stray icing from the corner of my mouth.
I give her a look. She pauses, then recalls.
“Oh. Yeah. Fingers and a plug only, got it”
“And a probe” I add to reassure her.
She reaches for the coffee but stops short. Looks quizzically at me again.
“The crop, hand and paddle, not the tawse. Ass, upper thighs, lower back and shoulders?”
And I’m back there again, feeling that smack on the top of my legs. I’m thrashing hard, the lashing holding me firmly to the frame. A flicker of fight or flight before my head drops, and I stop resisting the crop.
“Nothing round the front” I add.
She writes it down.
“What about the balls?”
I pause to consider as she sips her bitter brew, before asking me for the sugar.
“One lump or two?”
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