New Balls Please
Going Commando is probably one of the earliest sexual rites-of-passage I can remember, marking a point when ‘forgetting your pants’ morphed into something else. I think I was about 14 when I forgot to take pants to change into after swimming, having worn my trunks there. It was a mind-blowing realisation, on the bus on the way home: the arousing power of air, skin and space on my junk, and that NO ONE ELSE COULD TELL, as long as you were sitting down. Almost as much as the fearful, and sudden, realisation that I would have to get off the bus with six inches of lead pipe down my trousers.
The next week I ‘forgot’ my pants again, and had crossed the line from joyous discovery to masturbatory fantasy. The physical feeling of everything touching it, the constant potential for arousal as it dangled, combined with an almost as powerful thrill that no one could know for sure. For someone who was basically a hormone and cum factory on legs, this was potentially bad juju.
It highlights an important difference between men and women’s experiences of going commando. When the ladies go sans knickers, it really is between you and your jeans; your skirts and the strong winds; or your daring and the man opposite you on the Tube. We may speculate, if we see you wearing a very sheer and tight garment around your derriere, but we don’t really know. It’s hot fun for you, but a secret from the world.
Men, on the other hand, ever since they emerged from the primordial soup, have insisted on evolving genitals on the outside of their bodies. This is great for having a waz, cleaning or putting through holes in the walls of public lavatories. Less good for contact sports, cold weather and hanging unsupported inside clothing in a office-based job, thanks to some very important facts about willies.
A complete list of things which CIS-gender straight men can find sexually arousing
- Ladies’ breasts
- Ladies’ bums
- Ladies’ fannies
- Ladies’ legs
- Ladies’ feet
- Ladies’ hands
- Ladies’ hair
- The sound of ladies’ voices
- Any conceivable other body part on a lady, including internal organs
- All other phenomena known to humans within the observable universe
Then we need to consider when men are most likely to be sexually aroused.
A complete list of occasions when men can be sexually aroused
These two factors, when combined, make going commando for men who have to hold down a job that requires them to leave the house rather complex. Not so much a sexual thrill as an exercise in sado-masochistic awkwardness as you spend the day hiding your groin behind the nearest available office furniture. To which I add another layer of complexity. Literally.
As someone who wears a cock cage, I am already wearing a layer before the pants are applied. So most days I am, effectively ‘double bagged’. Going fully commando is double jeopardy for me.
Going commando for most men is like playing tennis without an umpire: the boundaries are still there, but you’re not quite so sure, now it’s up to you to judge them and make calls on what is in or out. Whereas going commando for a cage wearer is like playing tennis without a net.
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