To start, a disclaimer: this is not an article about the serious use of cock cages in long-term chastity relationships. I am not a chaste sub, and my use of cock cages is relatively new and intermittent. For insight about their long-term use, I suggest an expert blog such as Giles English’s.
I use a cock cage under direction from my domme, as one of a number of tools available to enhance denial and abstinence, for days rather than months or years. Because of its association with chastity, it doesn’t seem to have crossed over into wider public use or awareness unlike other aspects of kink culture. So, I just wanted to write about its use, some practical pointers and how it feels from my personal perspective as an off-on user, including frequent questions. Because, for an object with an apparently simple purpose, it can be surprisingly complex and nuanced.
Clearly its primary purpose is to deny me the chance to touch my penis sexually. The cage encloses the shaft with a covering – in my case silicone, in some cases metal – held in place by a ring around my balls. This is locked and the key holder determines access. This may be more symbolic than actual – since real life for real people with real jobs sometimes means access is needed or, more prosaically, it is actually quite easy to get out of some cages thanks to the expanding and contracting properties of male genitalia. So, in practical terms, for me, it is largely self-policing; wearing a cock-cage is not really a ‘punishment’ – it’s something you do voluntarily and joyfully. Because the physical containment is actually secondary to its symbolic meaning. By locking up your cock for your mistress, you are demonstrating their control over your sexual desire and activity as overtly as you can.
This symbolism is powerful in terms of its impact on the wearer. Because, for me, the psychological effects are more powerful than the physical effects (though the former clearly stems from the latter). It is an extremely powerful mood enhancer, and, unless you are aware of your emotional states and things you can do to control them, it can take you by surprise. So if you are feeling good, the cage makes you feel amazing; the first time I tried it, I was obviously excited. The package arrived at my office and I tried the thing on in the loos. And it was such an amazing feeling – being locked down, that sense of connection with Her, the sheer naughtiness of it at work – I felt bulletproof. I was energised, enthused, confident and happy at work. And I thought that was the effect it would always have.
However, I soon found to my cost it’s not that simple. On days when I am maybe struggling with the control: losing focus, maybe feeling horny, feeling vulnerable or even just sad or angry for reasons outside of your relationship. On those days, the cage can feel like a weight, a burden, and can induce panicky feelings or frustration. For me, the key is to recognise this, understand how to manage these feelings, be aware of them and deal with it. Which is, actually, a part of the sub’s life anyway. But when you become aroused, things get even more confused…
One of the first questions I am asked about casual cage use is: “What happens when you get an erection?” or even “Can you still get an erection?”. To which the answer is: “sort of”. Clearly, although physical stimulation is out, visual and aural arousal remains potent, not to mention the myriad other things that seem to give men erections. But clearly the cage, even a silicone one, physically prevents expansion, doesn’t it? Well, up to a point, Lord Copper.
So, when I am turned on wearing a cage, I find the cock head expands to fill the cage end, and the rest of the cock remains concertina-ed behind, like a loaded jack-in-the-box. So the head continues to send limit arousal sensations to the brain and often a feeling of the creation of pre-cum, though actually little physical evidence. Depending on the length and severity of the arousal this can be painful or it can be, actually, quite nice – again, depending on your own mood. However, I found that this makes it impractical for use at night; the ‘morning glory’ tended to fill the cage to the point where it was pulling it off, leaving my balls being stretched by the metal ring. I’d wake up at 4am in agony, which is certainly not the aim. So now I am a day-use wearer only.
Where the above-mentioned confusion comes in is sometimes it can create a feedback loop with the brain which is a little scary. So if you are experiencing some intense or sustained arousal, you get what I call a ‘surge’. It feels like something is flowing through the penis and, as noted above, is felt in the cock head. Depending on your mood, this can be nice or frustrating or scary because it feels like something is happening beyond your control; the pulses can also create a feeling that is hard for the brain to categorise, which induces a panic. The feeling that you are not sure whether you are going to come or piss yourself, which, for most people in most situations, is, at best, inconvenient and more likely socially disastrous. Again, it’s mood and mind control – refocus, breathe, manage it.
If this makes it all sound complicated or off-putting, it isn’t and it shouldn’t be. The dynamic it creates, the sense of connection, the powerful symbolism are all highly charged and powerfully sensual. If you’re thinking of trying it, I’d like to finish with a couple of tips:
- Most cages come with the shaft holder and the ring, and the thing is held in place by the ring, with the testicles acting as a brake against gravity. This means the cage in situ looks something like this:
This works brilliantly when you don’t have to wear any clothes, because most men do not keep their cocks in the middle of their trousers – we ‘dress’ to one side or the other. This means, in practical terms, the ring gets pulled out of position when pushed to one side, and it is common for your balls to slip through the ring, which leaves nothing holding it in place. There are few more disconcerting things than the feeling of giving a presentation to colleagues while worrying about a cock cage working its way down your trouser leg.
I found the solution to this was to construct a harness using elastic (actually a converted head torch holder, though a sports jockstrap would work as well!). Because even if your style doesn’t actually pull the thing off your bollocks when you are dressed and moving about during the day, it can still make it painful, awkward and uncomfortable, which isn’t necessarily the point. And makes you walk in a way that attracts the curiosity of your work colleagues and, no doubt, suspicious policemen on public transport.
2. I advise starting with silicone until you are convinced you want to try metal, as it is more forgiving and practical. I also advise getting a style that keeps the lock away from the body. In the image above, you’ll note the lock is threaded through the supporting ring, a very common design. Which this does mean is, apart from always pinching when you put it on, it’s very common for the lock to press in to the groin, causing agony.
3. You’ll need to piss sitting down. Better get used to that if you have a hang up about it.
4. Shave your balls and cock. Should be obvious why, but it makes everything much easier to manage. It’s not impossible whilst hairy, but the chances of catching something are increased exponentially.